Hash #754 — Jade Springs and Oek Cheon Sa Temple Complex

by Downloader, the Hash Hack

Fifty seven hashers attended hash No 754 on Sunday. It was described as a child friendly hash and promised to be one to remember. It was certainly that. Also for 10,000 won it had to be the bargain of the year considering it also included three hours on a coach, the chance of a tour around Oek Cheon Sa temple complex and a Korean meal.

Let’s be fair you could have spent the money on a beer and a half in an OKPO bar but then you wouldn’t have had the pleasure of seeing grown men cry. The moans and groans of the walking wounded as they emerged from the sauna, normally described as a forest, would have bought tears to most peoples eyes. Even the old Hash Hack survived this “child friendly” hash, if only to bring you his first hand report directly from the front, (or the back as it turned out).

A huddle of female hashers (fashers?) were heard to say, “Typical men, always complaining, we women just take the pain and get on with it.”

With gasping breaths, hearts pounding and legs hardly able to support their tired bodies, the hashers staggered toward the waiting coaches and collapsed on the first thing which resembled a seat. Then silence. “Excellent” said Wolfie, “This is always the signs of a good hash…. I love to see pain”

So what kind of child would have found that friendly? Well to be fair a few children did manage to complete the course if only to confirm that they had a future in the Special Forces. For the full story, click the title of this post.

It had started well. In the clubhouse maps were handed out and as the hashers studied their options of three routes, they were given good advice on survival by Wolfie. Of course most seasoned hashers know Wolfie can survive in the bush for days living off leaves and worms. “You will need about ten litres of water each” he suggested “then some for the second half.” Of course everyone thought he was joking. Surely it couldn’t be as tough as that.

The hashers looked relaxed though as they lounged in the clubhouse seats and enjoyed their last cigarette whilst talking of previous tough expeditions. Little did they know….!






And so the intrepid bunch set off into the unknown. After a short while there was the first of many calls of nature. It was a good chance to stretch legs and re-hydrate. It also gave the Hash Hack the chance to get this picture of some real dinosaurs.


A huddle of hashers hiding in the shade? Silent Shoes and Super-hypa-hasher.

Then it was the moment all had been waiting for. Wolfie took control and after inviting the ten hash virgins to the front he gave his instructions of how to survive this assault course hike, which seemed to be straight out of an SAS training manual. "Don’t urinate — you’ll need to save all your body fluids, plus it’s a hash crime” he cautioned.


Finally, there were shouts of “ON-ON” and the hashers started the long uphill climb into the unknown. The small talk and laughter soon stopped as the heat and humidity took its toll. Sights of so called “experienced” hashers hanging onto trees and gasping for air was just too much.

That young whippersnapper Irish Terrier did manage at least one smile for the camera, or was it wind? In his last Geoje Hash he was clearly determined to
complete the course.

Finnish Trappist looked really finnished.

Boy from the Black Stuff didn’t make it. He had to bring his kids back to base camp. Good excuse, BBS!

The number of steps between recovery became less and less. There were even stories of people doing a five finger spread. (A colloquial expression for vomiting. —Ed) At last the peak was in sight and something that had been missing since they started out, a very small but welcome breeze.

The eventual sight of Oek Cheon Sa temple complex was a sight for sore eyes and confirmation that the worst was over. “This is what the hash is all about” said one hasher dripping with sweat, with a red face,
and bulging eyes.

Krusty Krème couldn’t see what al the fuss was about. “It was a easy-peasy walk man, what’s wrong with you all?”

Protestant Glasgow Ranger (PGR) agreed, as he tells a friendly ear “Yeah, I ran up the first hill but then I had to wait for the others. It was really easy. I’m not a bit tired.” Really?


Super Hypa Hasher in a belligerent mood. Not sure if this should be translated as a rude gesture or he was trying to pick his nose.

Dirty Pillows and Shocker looked happy with their performance.

Stalker looks the part with his new big lens. Downloader had a big one too.


Hash Ceremonies
The Hares took their punishment for setting an “easy” hash. Was it long enough? Was it steep enough? The questions continued and cries of “No-No-No ” came from the hashers. On yer head!

Ten virgins were welcomed into the Hash.

Hash achievements
Tony Bennet was there to collect his 50 mile badge and Push start achieved 150 miles.


Hash names
Some original hash names were given out, including Tank, Tortoise, Happy Snapper and Cue Ball.


Hash Crimes
Okpo Fish wife was caught urinating on the hash.

PGR should have known better than to come on a hash with new shoes. It’s bad enough having beer poured in them, but then to drink it from a sweaty boot! Ugh!
Desertion from the Hash
The deserters were quickly rounded up and punished. Attitude to Altitude, Peeking Duck, Irish Terrier and Mrs Doyle were suitably chastised for leaving Okpo. Hurry on back now.

After the Lord Mayor’s Show
Having just been named, Tank thought it was safe to commit a hash crime after the event.

Some people will do anything to get their picture in the Hack. Urination after the Hash is hardly a punishable crime, but in future we’ll be watching anyone who looks like they’ve got a weak bladder. By the way, excuses like watering the plants because of the recent dry spell don’t wash with us.

Bus
Then it was a quick change for dinner and off up another hill to the Korean restaurant.

The four Koreans at the top left of the restaurant must have been looking forward to a quiet dinner together. Then this lot turned up.

Eventually everyone forgot the heat and pain and got drunk, well not everyone.





Hello what’s this, money changing hands on the hash? Sorry Snatcha, that expression says it all.


And now some of the cast…..

Peeking Duck and Push Start

Dragon Lady and Rascal Haskell
Sarah and Anderson playing themselves.

Irish terrier and Mrs Doyle

Wolfie and Shotgun

And finally…………